Well, hello there my human beings (because, yes, slavery was abolished, but you’re here and enjoying yourself so I own you. Don’t worry – I’m a kind master. You’ll even be fed once a day.) – it’s New Year’s Eve! As of tomorrow, it’s 2016 and you have to start improving yourself.

Pressure.

I mean, I’m good – my hula hoop just arrived, my room is halfway to done and I’ve got a gameplan; but you aimless, confused and lost children need my help. So I’m here to help you choose beneficial New Year’s Resolutions that you will actually stick to. Because it’s all great saying that you’re going to totally upheave your lifestyle – but no way in hell is that happening, sista. Well, I mean, it can but it’s not likely. And big lifestyle changes are easier a step at a time. So let me just shut the fuck up and get to giving you tips!

  • Make them relevant to your life. I know everyone goes “New Year, New Me!” and picks obscure and wild resolutions that after a week they can’t keep up, but . . . like, why the fuck would you bother with that? Eg: I’m always looking for ways to keep my skin clear, save money,  be healthier and I’ve been wanting to start cooking for ages. So one of my resolutions is to start cooking myself meals for school – not sandwiches and boring things like that, but stir fry and pasta etc. I’ll be learning to cook, cutting down on unhealthy junk food lunches (sorry McDonalds) which will help my skin and be healthier and save me money. Relevant.
  • That was the most obvious tip ever. I basically said “How to make a relevant goal – make a goal that’s relevant”. Let me try this again.
  • Identify parts of your life that need fixing/you want to improve in. This is how I choose my resolutions; rather than picking something random that everyone else is choosing – look at your life and what you want or need to fix. You’re a bit broke? Okay – choose a financial resolution. (BTW – dermasusanv did a great post where she featured a site that’s aimed at helping you sort out finances. Let me hit you up with a link – here you go) You feel like you need to lose your after holiday weight? Okay – choose a fitness goal.
  • Ask yourself a few questions before you choose. Where am I now and where do I want to be? How can I prepare myself for that? How do I get there? What do I like about myself? What do I need to change? What things do I struggle with during the year?
  • Pick one or two vague resolutions. I say this because vague resolutions are like an umbrella – a lot of things can fit underneath. So you could pick something vague like “get healthy” – and that could cover eating, exercise, sleep and a hell of a lot more. I know this probably seems less helpful, but you’ll feel like you’re working towards it with every little step. For example, a specific goal could be to write a novel. (Ha. Ha ha.) You get halfway through and give up – so you can’t celebrate, because you didn’t actually do it. Had your resolution been “be more creative” or “write more” – you would have achieved it! Remember that change isn’t overnight; give yourself some wiggle room and you won’t feel as demotivated if you don’t do exactly everything you plan.
  • But then pick specific ones too – in a variety of sizes; big goals, little ones, medium ones. I absolutely stand by the fact that you need to have clear set goals. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again – how the fuck do you expect to get somewhere if you don’t know where you’re going? So pick specific goals/things you want to do to build towards a bigger goal. Specific goals are easier to tick off your checklist – and that makes you feel like you’re making progress.
  • Now repeat those steps for different segments of your life – eg: school, work, blog, general.

And bang-bang-salty-ham – you have a list of helpful New Year’s resolutions that (with a little motivation) you will actually be able to stick to! It’s like magic.

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