Hi guys! How is everyone enjoying the first day of their Chinese New Year? This year is the year of the monkey, which I’m sure someone cares about . . . but that someone is not me.
Sorry; I’m a tiger.
In case you guys missed both the title and the rather large image above, this post is a What’s In My Handbag post – because I had this adorable ‘lil lucky cat bag just waiting for me to exploit it. Seriously, if you think of it in terms of people, WIMHB posts are fucking sadistic – imagine if someone spread you open and dashed your contents over somewhere with a pretty background to photograph and share to nosy onlookers.
“Oh, gosh, her heart is rather black, isn’t it!”
“Yes; do you think she had diabetes?”
“No, I imagine it happened when she gave it to Lucifer. What a lovely shade though; I wonder if eternal damnation and servitude comes in a lighter colour?”
“Or maybe a little pattern?”
“Yes, I imagine it would look rather lovely in tartan.”
(I was going to make a semen joke for Valentine’s day, but that would be crass, and I’m a lady. So Satan it was.)
First up in my bag are three things I place before any other needs in my life – the need to survive the commute into college without resorting to sadistic homicide or overly self-pitying suicide. What are these?
First up are my trusty headphones. I have three pairs in assorted designs because . . . well, they’re cute. I need music to block out the sound of the devil whispering in my ear. He gets loud when annoying people ignore common fucking sense whilst using the Underground during rush hour. If you would like your own pair of people repellers, they are £4.99 from Amazon and the link is here!
Next is something I don’t need as much as I used to, because my phone battery life is actually really good, but that comes in handy when I’ve forgotten to charge it – a milk carton shaped portable phone charger. You know you love it. That would be £2.40 from Amazon and here.
My third and final absolute necessity (other than keys, school card, bank card and oyster card) are the awesome lip smackers. These came in a big set that I shamelessly stole from my brother, who said they were too “girly” for him and they are just perfection. The thing about Vaseline (which was previously my go to) is that it actually makes your lips drier and they lose their shape and size and . . . ugh. These, however, moisturise your lips and leave them feeling lovely all day. And they taste amazing. Set of 8 – £10 from Amazon.
The lucky cat bracelet is just an adorable find from about a month ago that I decided to wear in the spirit of the festivity.
I love Victoria’s Secret body mists, but this one is the one you’ll usually catch me wearing; it’s really fruity and fresh and . . . I just love it. Link here.
I also carry around hair accessories because short curly hair is uncontrollable. Like I think I blocked that part of my memory out because of the trauma – because there has been a damn learning curve. Other than a lipstick or two, that’s What’s In My Handbag!
Happy New Year, kids. I’m going to go tidy my room.